Profiling – Words

by | Mar 6, 2013

This post was imported from an old blog I used to have.

Words matter. I always say that. The first word(s) you need to consider for your online dating profile (and actually this comes before the photos, which I already wrote about) is your username. Almost as much as your profile picture makes a huge first impression, so does your username.

What are you looking for? What are your interests? How would you sum yourself up? How clever are you? These are all questions you might ask yourself when you’re trying to come up with the perfect username. I’ve seen some really great names, funny names, boring names, names I don’t understand, and some really, truly awful ones. And I have to wonder, is it possible that having a username like “makemehorni” gets you what you’re looking for?! If so, great. But seriously, what on earth makes you think that I might even have the slightest inclination to reply to your message request of “wana get banged?” Seriously.

To summarize: what’s in a name? A lot. Choose wisely.

Next is the actual profile. OkCupid has a profile template for people to fill in. There’s the multiple choice section that consists of typical “just the facts” kind of stuff (height, race, body type, income, kids etc.) with a playful OkC twist. Example? Under “Drinks” the options are: Very Often, Often, Socially, Rarely, Desperately, Not at all. I considered selecting “Desperately,” but remembered that these people don’t know me yet and might not get my attempts at humour. I do think it’s really important to be honest in this section. I’ve noticed that quite a few people leave some of these blank, which is fine, that’s your prerogative, and it’s better than lying, but I tend to assume the worst.

Then there’s the long answer, open ended questions: Self-Summary, What I’m doing with my life, I’m really good at, The first things people usually notice about me, Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food, The six things I could never do without, I spend a lot of time thinking about, On a typical Friday night I am, The most private thing I’m willing to admit, another multiple choice question concerning What I’m looking for, followed by a paragraph section for You should message me if…

This is where your personality is revealed (although I’d agree that the right photos can do this too)! Personality? Scary stuff for some folks. How much can/should/will you reveal? What kind of tone will you use in your prose? Maybe you’ll use rhyming couplets! Style absolutely counts in this section. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it.

If you write well, you might have a bit of an edge in this section, but so be it, you gotta play to your strengths. And if I employ an evocative phrase, or try to incorporate some of my strange blend of humour, if I come across as something close to what my friends who know me see, then I’m feeling pretty successful. As far as I’m concerned this is the ultimate goal when you are trying to attract a certain type(s) of person (and to find others to be attracted to).

Don’t skimp out on your profile. Use it to showcase the best parts of yourself. If you’re funny, make us laugh. Sarcastic? Bring it on. Contemplative? Make me think. A non-conformist? Ignore the suggested topics and let me hear what you have to say. Be the best you possible in a page of words. Leave your visitors with something to comment on, a question to ask or answer, a reason to reach out and send you a message. Stand out from all the other profiles by being your unique self. That’s how you make more valuable connections.



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