I am full of thoughts. Some are nice, some are mean, many are silly. My thoughts make up a huge part of who I am. They determine how I interact with the world, even though the world never has access to them, except through my filters.
I have always prided myself in being thoughtful towards others. To consider what they might want or like or need and, when I am able, giving that to them.
I’m not very good at gift giving. I’m not even all that good at sharing, but I do like to make others comfortable.
Sometimes that means I put others’ needs before my own. And sometimes that makes me feel good. But there are also the times when I am so concerned with making other people feel better that I forget about what I want or need. And then I feel exhausted and sad.
So it makes sense to spend more time and energy alone and with people who like and want/need similar things to me. Because then it is more likely that I can care for them and myself at the same time or with less effort.
But this can be limiting. I also want to challenge myself. I do believe that it’s a good idea to spend time away from the people and things that are comforting and easy.
I guess, as with everything, there’s a balance and when it tips too far in one direction, all I can do is try to adjust without overcorrecting. It’s important to care. And I want to give. But I also want to make sure that I am OK.