Profiling – Photos

by | Mar 3, 2013

This post was imported from an old blog.

Once you’ve decided to take the plunge, the next step is to create your online dating profile. This is really important. It’s the first impression you project to all of the potential people in your new online dating community. And if it’s true that you never get a second chance to make one (I’m not sure I believe this, but whatever) – you want it to be good. No, not good, stellar.

Some people will say that the most important aspect of your profile is your photo. Everyone looks at the photo. Some people don’t even read the information you’ve provided if they don’t like your photo. This is known as judging a book by its cover, and it might not be fair, but it happens all the time. I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to get close to people who judge looks above everything else about a person, but I”m not going to pretend it’s not important to me too. And when you’re online it’s one of the easiest things to go on.

Now, I’m no expert on any of this. That should be clear. But I do have some opinions on the topic (otherwise why would I be writing about it), and when I’m sharing my thoughts if I start to sound didactic just remember that I don’t really know what I’m doing, but this is how I believe it’s going to work for me. You’re probably not me, so it might not be the same for you. Then again, maybe it is. Truth. It’s a tricky thing.

I digress (again. I do that a lot. Stay with me).

So, photos. Each one has the potential to tell a story. You have to consider what that story might be. You might be surprised. Try to consider what someone else sees when they look at pictures of you. On OkC you get one main profile picture, but you can add more for interested viewers. I think I’m a reasonably attractive woman, but I’m a hell of a lot more than that, and I want to be specific about the image I am portraying. Consider this: what does it say if you profile picture is focused on your body, rather than your face? You’re looking for sex? You’ve got a great rack but an ugly visage? You know what brings all the boys to the yard? Maybe. What does it say if it’s a blurry photo of you, grinning like a fool, in a fancy dress, wearing a party hat? You know how to have a good time? You are a terrible photographer?

I want others to see me as I imagine myself: smart, sexy, silly, stimulating, creative, clever, curious… I want to show my best features without coming across as conceited. I’m not trying to hide, so my goal is to show the real me as much as possible, but I’m still trying to attract a certain type(s) of person. This is not what everyone else on the internet is doing. Duh. I might choose not to play those games, but that doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the potential.

My current profile pic

I’m not sure how I’m doing with this photo. I think it’s playful and flirty, but not overtly sexual. No one has commented on it on the site so I’m not sure how it’s coming across. What do you think?

I’ve included some other photos as well. Me on a beach with the wind blowing my hair around – not one of my prettiest pictures, but it shows my love for the ocean. One of me posing demurely with the focus on a piece of jewellery I am particularly fond of, a close up of my eyes (windows to the soul and all that), a fairly straightforward (literally and figuratively) head shot so people can see what I typically look like, and one full-length photo for those who want to see my figure. Actually, it’s not revealing much. I’m wearing a winter coat in the picture, but I hope it shows that when I describe my body type as “average,” (as opposed to “thin, “overweight,” “athletic,” or any number of other choices) that I’m not lying. This is the first picture I plan to update/replace, but it seems I lack any recent full-length photos of myself. Speaking of recent, all of my pictures have been taken within the last 3 months. I think this is important too. Go ahead and post that great shot of you at _______, but you should probably include the date it was taken in the description.

1 Comment

  1. As amateur photographer who has been dating for decades, I find that the majority of female dating pics send quite weird messages.
    For many the message is that the woman doesn’t believe that looks matter so they only have one photo from a three-year old wedding or a 2009 visit to Vegas. Many photos include one or more anonymous younger people. Whether they depict ex-lovers, young relatives or someone at the next restaurant table is never revealed.
    Many others try to impress by showing pics of their recent vacation. (Instead of sunset pics I would prefer to see some intelligent prose).

    Finally beware of props. For someone observant and imaginative like me; holding a wine glass in every photo, riding a rifle-equipped quad or showing photos taken in bed sends the wrong message. (Unless of course the prospective date really intended to ‘send the wrong message’).

    Be careful of your messages and good hunting.


  1. Profiling – Words | i am amanova - [...] you need to consider for your online dating profile (and actually this comes before the photos, which I already…
  2. Sign Me Up! | i am amanova - [...] Next >> [...]