Anti-Social Media

I’ve been to a few open mics, but I’ve never performed at one before. Tonight is going to be my debut!

I got my little ukulele about a year ago and I am just now finally ready to get up on a (small) stage and play and sing in front of strangers.

I’m really worried that I’m going to get that nervous heart pounding, knees shaking thing that always happens when I stand up in front of people to sing. It’s not the same when I’m acting on stage. Sure, I get nervous, but my body doesn’t usually betray me like it does when I get up to sing.

I did a LOT of karaoke in my 20s and 30s. We used to go out to drink and sing almost every Thursday night in University. And I had serious relationships with not one, but two karaoke hosts. And even thought I did it often, there was something about getting up to sing that first song that made my heart pound and my legs shake. It was almost comical!

And yes, the alcohol definitely helped, and I know I can sing with a few drinks under my belt, but I’ve never had to worry about playing an instrument AND remembering the words while singing, so I don’t want too much liquid courage.

It’s been a long time since karaoke. I think the last karaoke I did was with the Nervous Flirts (karaoke with a live band!) a few years ago when Bee was their host. Which, now that I think of it, technically makes him the third host I’ve loved. What’s up with that?!

Anyway, so I’m facing my fear and worries and I’m just going to do it. It’s time. I’ve practiced. I’m good enough. I think it will be fun and exhilarating once I get over the terror.

I let you know how it goes tomorrow.

P.S. One of my super talented photographer friends took this photo in the summer of 2005. I can’t remember if it was Wade or Raffaella!

Sometimes it seems to me that you can’t throw a rock without hitting a Coach.

Personal coach, Life coach, career coach, whatever, you know what I’m talking about. For some reason people are willing to trust that anyone who has gone out and achieved something for themselves can teach them how to do it.

Sure, charisma goes a long way here too, and the field is full of outgoing, well spoken, intelligent and attractive people, which makes sense because these folks are already at an advantage for traditional success.

I know it may sounds like I’m complaining, but I’m mostly just observing. Maybe complaining a bit.

I don’t have a problem with someone choosing to pay another person to help them get better at something. It’s your time and money, spend it how you choose.

And I don’t even have a problem with self-proclaimed “experts” declaring themselves coaches in order to sell their brand of advice.

Maybe I’m just a DIYer at heart. Or stubborn?

Either way, I’ve been looking around at other people my whole life, trying to figure it out. And I’m pretty sure no one really knows.

So I’m just going to keep fumbling around, trying out new things until something clicks. Or doesn’t. I have this suspicion that the secret might be hidden in the trying, the experimentation, the testing, wondering, wandering.

And no, that is not meant as advice.

January is over! It was a tough one. I don’t like winter very much.

I woke up on the first of the month and got it into my head that I would challenge myself to abstain from alcohol for the entire month.

To be honest, I haven’t gone that long without a drink since… well, probably since I was 18.

And I did it! It wasn’t too difficult, but I stuck to it, and I’m planning to celebrate with Bailey’s in my coffee this morning.

I hoped that I would learn something from this experiment, but I’m not sure I have. I guess I figured out that I am perfectly capable of going without alcohol, but I also learned that I really do enjoy having a drink or two in the evenings. And it definitely helps me navigate social situations.

I was also a bit more of a hermit in January than I usually am, but that may have had more to do with the winter blues than the lack of booze, but who knows, maybe they are intertwined.

I also decided that since I was removing something from my life every day, that I would also try adding something daily. I signed up for Yoga With Adriene’s 30-day yoga challenge HOME and I loved it! So much so that I’m planning to keep going with her free monthly yoga calendar.

I already had a routine of morning yoga-ish stretches, but landing on the mat each morning in January with a dedicated video gave me an intention that I didn’t have before, and I look forward to continuing that practice.

I recently attended MAKER MAKER, “a monthly program of seriously small, after-hours art workshops” hosted by the Owens Art Gallery at Mount Allison University.

This month was DIY buttons and it was so much fun! My friend and I each made 3 buttons and I honestly felt like I could make hundreds.

These tiny visual statements are delightful. Wearable, transferable art!

I’ll definitely be watching for more MAKER MAKER workshops!

The camera on my iPhone 5s no longer takes good photos. But I cannot bring myself to replace my phone because of the camera, even though that’s one of its best features. So, bad pics I guess!

A thought:

Making art only for yourself is a selfish act. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But if you keep it to yourself, if you never share it with anyone, it’s sort of masturbatory (again, nothing wrong with a little of that)! 😉

Which isn’t to say that you have to make your art for everyone. You don’t need to share it with the whole world. But you can if you want. I kind of like the idea of an art slut.

And if you only make art for money, well, I guess that makes you an art whore. Again, nothing wrong with that, if that’s what you choose, but there it is. Is there room for a bit of free love/art as well?

My question is: what change do you want to make in the world? For whom? Make your art for them, for that. Put your love into it. Be vulnerable, honest and as whole hearted as possible. That’s where the magic is.

And it’s OK to just make art for yourself sometimes. You deserve that love. And it’s OK to make art for money, you deserve that too!

Just something that occurred to me last night before bed.

Photo by Marsha Amanova in Barcelona, October 26, 2015